Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Quotes of the day:

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? My neighbors put in a circle drive...now they can't get out. My high school colors were clear. (Steven Wright)

Everything is instant these days. Instant coffee, instant tea...so I bought some instant water. I don't know what to add. (Rita Rudner)

Why is it that creditors call you with these annoyingly obvious collectors? "Yes, this is Carlos from American Express...we need you to call us back regarding a very important banking matter." Like anyone voluntarily calls them back! They should have a cheerful shopper line, "Hi! It's Amy from Amex...see you bought some shoes...CALL ME!!" (Caroline Rhea)

Rules Lillian! Eddie broke the rules! We put the rules on the refrigerator and Eddie br-...what? Eddie hit Jimmy Walker in the mouth?! Oh, Eddie got hit in the mouth, look like Jimmy Walker. (Eddie Murphy)

Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P. shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T. 'cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could become an M.I.A. and then we'd all be put out on K.P. (Adrian Cronauer)

Hey, that's a pretty girl down there, I wonder if she goes out with one of the Yankees? Richard, who's your favorite little rascal? Is it Alfalfa, or is it Spanky? Sinner. (Tommy Callahan)

No no no no no...this sucker's electrical, but I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 jigawatts of electricity I need...come on, let's get you a radiation suit! (Dr. Emmett Brown)

Ok Bran...Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house...to use the bathroom. But his SISTER did! (Chunk)

These are my, I-DONT-NEED-A-JOB, I-DONT-NEED-BARRY cause I got great boots, boots! (Rachel Green)

A construction manager peers down a 10 story deep hole in the ground and frantically yells to a hoard of workers..."STOP you idiots! The plans are upside down!"

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Big 4-0!

Unless the scale lies, it's finally happened! Damn, only 30 more to go...and yes we are talking about LB's, not YR's! When I reach the goal, I will show off before and after pics and we will have a party, complete with Broccoli (and a truck load of 2 Buck Chuck cab, we seem to have plenty)! Last week was my 34th birthday and I have only one year left to meet my goals before I slide down the back slope of my thirties into the next decade...BRING IT!

Operation Bootleg

Across 5 state lines, I braved the LONG late night drive from Phoenix back home to Arkansas. It was a small price to pay for a buying spree at Trader Joe's, thus the genesis of Operation Bootleg. I left my project around noon, stopped by TJ's to pick up the goods (six cases of cheap wine), then headed north toward Flagstaff. The anticipation of our annual Non-Birthday Party was all the incentive I needed to head off a sojourn midway-ish in Amarillo for the night at around 1am. Something told me I would never make it up before dawn (my original plan) if I stopped to rack, for I am anything but a morning person. So while filling up at a Love's Country Store near the Big Texan 96oz. steak, I chose to press on. Not the smartest of moves, but it really was not nearly as bad as I expected. At some point, I had planned to get so tired I would have no choice but to pull over and sleep for a few hours. That point never sharpened and before I knew it, I was entering the Turner Turnpike and flying by the Clam Shrine (a story for another post!). I rolled into the Tulsa airport parking lot to retrieve my trusty 4runner at around 6am, the sun was coming up and traffic was swelling to a pre-rush hour mass. I pulled out of the airport and giddily embarked on the final 2 hours of my 19 hour journey, even finding time to stop by Sam's in Bentonville to pick up fresh flowers for my homegirl.

Seeing as how it was the party weekend, and Operation Bootleg commenced for that purpose, I had no choice. Hey, we all have priorities, right?! Cheap wine and the forceful beckoning of a Non-Birthday Party are all it takes for me to be motivated to drive through the night. Besides, the scenery from AZ to AR is, well, less than exciting...had I driven during the daylight I would have put myself to sleep counting cows and racing BNSF freight trains before crossing the TX line! No worries, I was in control, and kept telling myself I was stopping at the next town if the need arose...but it never did. I passed out cold a few short minutes after pulling into the driveway...but had some sweet dreams! Well 10-4 good buddy, keep your eye on them smokies for me...we're loaded up and truckin!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Holiday Recap

Holy shcnikes! It has been a very long month. From our return from Florida, which was a blast, to our whirlwind trips to MN and back home for a few days to OK, we have barely had time to rest. I, of course, went right back to work flying out the day after New Year's to my new project in San Antonio, which I am quite certain is going to be a nightmare and consume far more of my professional time than I would normally desire. Whew...I need a nap. We have had fun though! Here is a summation in short bullet points for those fellow ADDers who don't like to read much:
  • Disney was a blast, but the Magic Kingdom is in fact dry, the rumors are true.
  • Sanibel Island is always a great refresher for the ocean heals me, yes Tim I did send the oceanic vibes of refreshing meditation your way.
  • We finally took a huge family picture on the beach at Sanibel all dressed in white shirts and jeans, looking like a mob of Mormon missionaries dissing our black pants and ties.
  • Zac and Ann got engaged shortly after our departure from Florida!
  • American Airlines has never been happier than the day the Carpenter's deplaned back in good ole Arkansas. The kids were excellent of course as they are cherubic little angels 100% of the time.
  • We battled 9.5 hours in the loser cruzer driving to MN, the final third of which was in dense fog...that was a treat. Cindy had the kids "Santa" gifts sent to Walmart in Rochester and I spent two nights assembling bikes until 2am. FYI, they do assemble for free, but you have to buy them from the store, not have them shipped there for future reference.
  • I reacquainted myself with my obsessive compulsive need to work tirelessly on a 2000 piece puzzle until the wee hours.
  • It snowed on us for 2/3 of the way home, another treat! I have no doubt A and J were probably ready for us to take our Tour of Chaos on down the road.
  • We spent an early New Year's Eve with friends in OKC during a short 36 hour visit and managed to see virtually every family member thanks to very tight scheduling and very little whining.
  • Alas the new year arrived and we are finally home!

Although not the most enthralling prose, at least you now have some semblance of our busy holiday travel schedule...and as I always say at the end of every holiday season, next year if you want to see us, you'll be coming to OUR house. The Tour of Chaos is officially retired and we are praying there is no talk of a reunion tour. Happy New Year and peace out hombres.